RUN, HAMMIE, RUN!
DIDDLEY SQUAT and BUPKES
HAVE RECEIVED THE ENDORSEMENT OF
POTUS
FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
b. 17 May 2002; d. 5 October 2004
Why are we running? Think about it for just a moment. The human candidates run on their
"platforms." They spend months incorporating into those platforms the positions that
will bring them the approval (and money) of the the powerful, the rich, and the influential.
Then they campaign for votes, barely knowing what's in the platform. And when elected to office,
the platform, which is sort of a written
equivalent of a campaign promise, is all but forgotten. So much for those guys. Now, let us look
at the humble hamster. Hamsters run on little hamster wheels. When we are elected, we will run on
those same wheels. We will sleep all day and run on our wheels at night and let you -- voting-age
adults -- govern yourselves. That's basically what our "platform" is all about. What could be
better? We ask nothing more of you than your vote. And in return, we will not stand in judgement
of your lifestyle. Our campaign promise:
CLICK HERE FOR A SAMPLE OF OUR CAMPAIGN 2000 PRESS COVERAGE
Help us renovate our suburban Washington, D.C. campaign headquarters. As you can see, it badly needs a new foundation, new floors, new walls, new ceilings, new windows, new plumbing, new wiring, exterior siding, and a roof, not to mention some heat and air conditioning. What the heck, we might as well buy some furniture, install a telephone, landscape the place, and pave the driveway while we're at it.
AVAILABLE SOON
HAMSTER FOR PRESIDENT
CAMPAIGN 2008
T-SHIRTS
