HAMSTER FOR PRESIDENT |
As network television and newspapers conveniently look the other way,
hamsters from all over the country are gathering in Washington, DC for the Hamster For President
Political Convention of Election Year 2000. As shown in the photo above (taken at the 1996 HFP
National Convention which nominated the late Mister Ganja, father of Ms. Ganjette), tens of thousands of
hamsters are expected to debate the virtues of the various potential nominees.
As older hamsters move aside to take advantage of a richly-deserved retirement, the young ones
are expected to challenge their middle-aged counterparts over the relative benefits
of youthful optimism versus seasoned pragmatism. A vigorous discussion is expected during the
week-long conference, at the close of which the furry delegates are expected to select, by
unanymous acclamation, the perfect leader who, with his or her running mate, heirs, and
co-heirs, shall replace the current occupants of the White House.
All hamsters aged 8 weeks or older are invited to attend and cast their ballots in the nominating process.
Hamsters younger than 8 weeks are welcome, but will not be given ballots (as in the past they have
been known to chew them up). Hamster of all ages will, however, get to particpate in the final
selection process at which the new nominee will be proclaimed the official Hamster For President
candidate and the next president of the United States of America.
As always, refreshments will be served, campaign merchandise will be on sale,
and live entertainment will be featured. Floor litter will be changed three times
daily. For reservations (rodents only), please call our international headquarters and off-shore
financial office in Kenya at 011 254 321 HAMSTER.
For those of you who simply must speculate even before the debate begins, below are the faces of the "hamsters-most-likely."
Great-great-great grand-daughter of the illustrious Mister Ganja.
Great-great-great grandson of the famous Mister Ganja.
Mister Ganja's great-great-great grandson (brother of Diddley Squat).
Great-great grandson of Mister Ganja.
Father-in-law of Yako Zimba.
Husband of Yako Zimba. Anxious to know how the nomination process is going?
Well, you can check back every day beginning in mid July.
You can also receive automatic e-mail notices
alerting you to changes to this web site, including the announcement of the nominee and running mate.
It's simple. Just enter your e-mail address below.
Yako Zimba II
Diddley Squat IV
Yarash, Junior ("YJ")
Melek
Pikachu
Raichu
Monitor HFP page for changes
