Election time is nearly upon us. As you prepare to go
to the polls, please consider hanging around to hand out Hamster For President literature. Help
to get our message out to that majority of voters who feels their only choice is to vote for "the
lesser evil" or to cast a ballot for one candidate on the sole grounds that the other guy is
"even worse." Let them know that there really is an alternative, a candidate who is literally
"warm and fuzzy" and committed to non-interference in their lives. We have prepared two similar
one-page flyers which you can print and hand out at neighborhood precincts. One is for those
with black and white printers; the other can be used with a color printer. Take a moment or two to view
and print multiple copies of the flyer of your choice. And then we can help others to send a message
to the political establishment. Vote Hamster!
Vote Hamster (Color Version) PDF format
Vote Hamster (B&W Version) PDF format
(NOTE: THESE FILES MAY TAKE A COUPLE OF MINUTES TO DOWNLOAD)
FOR
THOSE
WHO
DON'T
KNOW
Diddley Squat...
I understand
how difficult and confusing this election is for many people. All this talk about Grecians putting money
in a 'lockbox,' and all the panting and huffing and stammering about being
ready to start and win wars, about imposing "their" ideas on people in every part of the
world. It's hard to feel comfortable with the major party candidates. And I don't blame you.
I am Diddley Squat and I am running for president.
Human politics has become corrupt. And that should
come as no surprise. The word politics comes from the Latin poly,
meaning "many," and the word ticks, blood-sucking insects. And it's long past time to
put an end to "politics" as usual in America.
I invite you to cast a vote for real change.
Humans out! Hamsters in! End military wars and class
wars and drug wars - end all wars! And above all, end the blood-sucking
power struggle between the parties of
Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
With hamsters in the White House, the present unscrupulous
political system will be a thing of the past. We will sleep all day and run on our little hamster
wheels all night. No intern scandals, no bombs, no more taxes. If you are old enough to vote,
you are an adult, and we will trust you to govern yourselves. We promise never to interfere
with your independent, creative spirit!
Our election will mark the beginning of the era of pax
rodentus, of prosperity,
peace and freedom. Diddley Squat and Yarash, Jr., along with his
brother and running mate, are truly the "warm and fuzzy" candidates who can do away with
authoritarian rule and usher in an era of honesty and optimism.
YJ and I really want your vote. In half the time it took you to read
this flyer, you can write in your preference for the Diddley Squat-Yarash, Jr. ticket.
Vote Hamster for President in 2000!
We thank you and we trust you and we love you.
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