What do we need with a platform? Our political stance is simple and straight-forward.
In fact, you can say with some certainty that if you don't see your favorite gripe here,
we hamsters are even more against whatever-it-is than you are.
PLATFORM APPROVED JULY 2000 HAMSTER NATIONAL CONVENTION IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
Photo taken at Hamster National Convention 1996
Upon our election, we will basically run on our little hamster wheels (and not on some
phoney platform) while you
govern yourselves. In other words, we trust you.
Here's our little Q & A so far.....
ISSUE
POSITION
Tobacco
Control?
Whatever
for?
Foreign
Policy?
Participate in Olympics, that's
enough.
Countering
Terrorism?
Quid pro quo; try leaving
them alone.
Funding for birth
control?
Heaven
forbid!
Sex
education?
Naaaah.... trust your
instincts.
National
defense?
Use Pentagon as homeless rat
shelter.
Social
Security?
Try hoarding food in the corners of
your cages.
Campaign
financing?
Just send us a couple walnuts for
now, thanks.
