we would not love them so tenderly"
Japanese Proverb (Yamabe No Akahito)
we would not love them so tenderly" Japanese Proverb (Yamabe No Akahito)
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Life on this earth lasts only a while, whether one is hamster or human. In fact, the Syrian hamster has a life expectancy of only two years. This raises legitimate questions about how a hamster can be elected to a four-year term as President of the United States. While these questions are entirely valid, the matter of succession is clear. Hamsters are family creatures, and a vote for Mister Ganja, Ms. Ganjette and Scratch, the Diddley Squat-Yarash Junior team, or for the current candidate, Potus, is a not merely vote for a certain pair of hamsters, but also a vote for their ancestors and their descendants. A vote for Hamster leadership, in other words, is a vote for perfect continuity and consistency, as each generation of hamsters is succeeded by another and yet another. And so the election of Potus as President of the United States will bring integrity to the nation, even though it is sure that he could not live long enough to finish a full four-year term. How will the process of succession work? It's relatively simple. Upon the death of either candidate, all living descendants will pick from their ranks, by consensus, a substitute who shall take over the role of president or vice president -- or of candidate for president, should we not win this time around. This chosen successor will then pick a partner, a spouse or a relative who is also a descendant of the contenders. Indeed, those of you who have been following this campaign since it first took shape in early 1997 will know that is our fourth candidate. First it was Mister Ganja, who was replaced upon his death by his young daughter. Ms. Ganjette (who picked Scratch, her husband, as her running mate). Diddley, the great-great grandson of the famous couple, was nominated in July of 2000, and chose his brother, Yarash Junior, as his vice presidential pick. And finally, in the summer of 2002, shortly after the death of Diddley, Potus was chosen to run. Thus, to cast a ballot for the hamster ticket is to ratify Mister Ganja's original Hamster For President campaign, as well as that of his illustrious heirs in the years to come. Rest assured that a vote for Potus is the best choice you could possibly make next fall. And take comfort in the fact that you will be respectfully served by the family well into the prosperous, peacful future that is to come.
Click here for a campaign history and the story of the pioneer hamster candidates.
BEFORE YOU DECIDE:
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